If you are a golf fan, you likely spent time recently watching the chaos at the Ryder Cup! Drinks thrown at players and their spouses. Heckling during backswings. A sport famous for its hushed reverence turned into something resembling a rowdy bar on game night.

Here’s what struck me: Golf didn’t change. We did.

And if you’re a practice owner watching this unfold, you might have felt an uncomfortable twinge of recognition. Afterall, it can sometimes feel that the loss of etiquette witnessed on the golf course is also taking place in your practice.

It may be less dramatic. It certainly does not have a national television audience. But it seems the lack of civility we witnessed on the golf course is creeping into the dental practice.

The slippery slope of “authentic”

Norms of behaviour are constantly changing. Where we once emphasized “fitting in with the crowd”, today the goal is to “be your authentic self”!

There is a lot of positives to be said about being authentic. Having the freedom to live and express our true selves must be liberating for those who felt unduly constrained trying to fit into a world that was not comfortable for them.

But as with anything positive, you can have too much of a good thing. Somewhere along the way, “be your authentic self” morphed into “I’ll do what I want, and you have to deal with it.”

Sound familiar?

Maybe it’s the team member scrolling Instagram during a patient handoff. The associate who’s perpetually 20 minutes late. The hygienist who rolls her eyes when asked to stay five minutes past closing.

On the flip side? Practice owners who expect unpaid “huddle time” at 7:45 AM but stroll in at 8:30. Dentists who bark orders but never say thank you. Leaders who confuse “authenticity” with “I don’t need to manage my moods.”

The complaints flow both ways. And increasingly, they’re flowing onto social media.

The permanent record we’re creating

Here’s where it gets really interesting (and a bit disturbing): There are now social media groups—actual running lists—of “employees not to hire” and “dentists not to work for.”

One bad day. One miscommunication. One personality clash. And boom—you’re immortalized on someone’s digital burn book.

This isn’t workplace gossip anymore. It is permanent, public reputation damage based on subjective, unverified experiences

What actually works: The civility framework

Here’s the paradox: You absolutely want your team to be themselves. You want their unique personalities, their creative problem-solving, their genuine warmth with patients.

But not at the expense of basic respect.

So how do you balance authenticity with civility? Three non-negotiables:

1. Model what you expect
If you’re texting during team meetings, don’t be shocked when they’re texting during morning huddle. If you snap at the front desk when stressed, you’ve just given everyone permission to do the same.

2. Define civility clearly
“Be respectful” is too vague. Get specific: “We make eye contact when someone’s speaking. We don’t interrupt patients. We handle disagreements privately, not in the operatory.”

3. Address issues immediately
That uncomfortable conversation you’re avoiding? It’s not going away. It’s fermenting. Every day you wait, you’re telling everyone that behavior is acceptable.

The golf lesson

Golf maintained its dignity for over a century not because of fancy rules, but because everyone—players, caddies, fans—bought into a shared culture of respect.

The moment we stopped enforcing it? Chaos.

Your practice works the same way. You can have the best systems, the latest technology, and competitive pay. But if you don’t actively cultivate civility, you’ll end up with your own version of a Ryder Cup meltdown.

Just with better lighting and autoclave timers.

The bottom line? Culture doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built deliberately, modeled consistently, and protected fiercely.

Start today. Because somewhere in your practice, someone’s testing the boundaries right now.